Next Question with AznSitch

Property of Perry Fire Media - Hidden Camera Series II

The second last installment of NQ features last year's runner up, AznSitch (a.k.a. Sitch, Crasian, Perry Fire Media puppet). A bit out of place to be featuring Sitch in the second last installment; for the past two years he had been the final installment out of respect as Champions of previous seasons usually get last call.

"It's a sad, sad day," said Sitch.

Now introducing last year's Finalist and Runner Up, AznSitch.

Please, don't mention it.

Now now, come on Sitch. You had a good run. You should be proud of stringing back-to-back Championships. It's no easy task, if you ask me.

Brah, Randy, I demand excellence, so when I don't achieve it, I'm a wreck. I hate myself. Some say I'm too tough on myself, but I don't care; this is who I am and this is who I'm going to be. I want it back, and I'll never want to share it.

Emo Sitch

Coarse words, Sitch.

Coarse, but true. Some people say I'm an EoX (Example of Excellence); well, I failed that last year, so you can imagine my emotions.

Well, instead of looking at past failures, let's look at future prosperity. How do you like the Wring so far?

You know, I sort of talked to Safari and Burgs about this the day after the draft. I was really disappointed in the way I drafted. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have good players, but I felt very lost throughout the entire ordeal. Usually, I feel like I've got a good pulse on what the draft will be like; who I want, who others want, who to get, when to get them... but this year's draft was very chaotic. I felt I sucked, to be honest.

Is it because you didn't get Handsome Hank?

Ahhh I don't know. Maybe? I'm a creature of habit, right? So the last two drafts I had picked up Hank early. But this year I wasn't able to snag him, so maybe that threw off my rhythm.

Rhythm, you say?

LOL Commissioner Randy - that was ages ago.

Always nice to bring up the past, though.

Indeed.

So, you're currently second in the League; not a bad spot, if you ask me. Are you happy with where you are? For someone who didn't like the way they drafted, you're certainly doing alright.

Second means nothing to me, Commissioner. When I play, I want to win. It's like when I pump up; I'm not there to be a spotter. I'm there to fucking lift biscuits, crunch abs and be a fitness phenomenon. People come to the gym to watch me, not the other way around. So, am I doing alright? Fuck no.

OK, fine. Let me rephrase then: think you'll win?

I always have to have a positive outlook. Listen, this is the tightest fantasy pool to come around in a while. With the exception of Dick Burns - who is now 400 points out - anyone can still win this League. Do I have the determination? Yes. I just have to focus.

But I also need to keep reality in check here. One of my biggest guns (no bicep reference), Stamkos, has been having an off year. It's really weighed me down. My other has been an ugly duckling (Perry), so I'm not sure if it's feasible. But hey, Burgundy was looking like he was in the shitter before Crosbone woke up, so maybe I'm due for a late season surge. If these two guys can wake up, and the rest of my team remains constant, I think I've got a legitimate shot.

Always an analyst you are, Sitch. Thank you for your time.

Peace out, Commissioner!