Last week was all about how Burgundy was surging, assisted by the erectile dominance of Crosbone, Malkin & Co. on the Pittsburgh Penguins. Oh, how fate sure does love to play spoiler.
"Fuck off!" screeched Burgundy.
WK22 is in the books, and yes, I am once again a day late in reporting on the statistical reports. Not a big deal, but if you're Burgundy, you would have preferred the report to have been published yesterday, when he was technically second in the standings (previously third).
"Damn it!" screeched Burgundy, again.
Sitch had a better night last night, and was able to climb is way back to second place, though Safari still continues to lead overall. Here are the visuals, courtesy of the stats machine:
As I said, Safari still leads overall, but Burgundy was once again this week's top bread winner, bringing in 167.20 fantasy points, almost 30 points better than Safari, who brought home the second most. The Burg Surge is definitely on, and has been on for quite some time now. But, Malkin is now injured; reports indicate that he'll be sidelined for 6-8 weeks. A horrendous blow to the reigning Champion who wishes to repeat.
No change in ranks, though had this report been published yesterday, Burgundy would have surpassed Sitch for second overall, sniffing at the lion's ass.
"God damn it why didn't you post yesterday?!" cried Burgundy.
I'm a busy man, Burgundy. I have lots on the go. I almost put this off until tomorrow, so just be happy that you're still just a sip away from second overall.
Tree Bone still leads PPGP, but Sitch is now actually second overall with a 3.33PPGP. Safari is less than a lion's hair behind him for third overall, followed by Burgundy. What's amazing is that the League average PPGP is now 3.32, yet the spread is a mere 0.11, with Tree Bone at the high end (3.38) and Dick Burns at the low end (3.27). Close, close, close.
And finally the Rainbow, for you stat nerds out there.
While the Wring still has a bit further to go before it's officially wrung, sources have told me that Dick Burns and Tree Bone are both effectively out of the running, choosing to play their "zero-fucks-given" card and opting to live their lives fantasy-free. I'm told that Dick Burns is shoulder deep in productions, making theatrical strides and boning (or should we say Boeing) East Coast fuglies at every chance he gets.
"I can neither confirm or deny that," said Dick Burns.
Tree Bone, on the other hand, has had enough of looking after little shit-disturbers and schooling; she's vanished off to the West Coast (opposite of Dick Burns) in the hopes of catching some good food, weather and purses. Though she's still out on the hunt for some real estate, she's taking time off during this March Break to enjoy a no-strings-attached life; I can only imagine what that freedom feels like.
"Don't you have freedom? Aren't you Morpheus Randy?" asked Sitch.
Oh, I am, indeed, Sitch. But, I am weighed down by responsibilities, excellence and importance. I cannot just pick up and go as I please. I am, after all, a gentleman and a scholar.
"I'm also a scholar, an MPA scholar!" said Burgundy.
Yes, yes, we're all too familiar with that, Burgundy. Anyway, cheers to all you select-GM's, whether you're slaving away at your work, partying with California girls or tweaking the nippies of your hired cast.
"HEY!" said Dick Burns.
Oh come on, we all know what you're doing, Dick. No point in hiding or worrying; we all know your identity, and we won't be stealing it from you.
"Identify theft is not a joke," said Dick Burns.
Wise words, Dick.
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