Life without the Delete Key

That's right folks. I'm going to type this enture blog with out using the delete key. I

FUck

Fuck I shouldn't have typed. that. 

Damn it!

Here are the rule:

1. I will not use the delete key.

2. I will try to type as I normally would at normal speed.

3. That's it.

Some p[eople always wonder why I'm so good at reporting on the Randy Leagues. They think that words just fly out of my mouth, transfer to my fatty fingers, and then transpose onto this blog. That is not hte case. These reports are well thought out, with many drafts, possibly reviewed by one of my many hot blonde and brunetted receptionists and typists. There are so many moving parts and blood, sweat and tears that go into these posts. You have no idea how much this takes a toll on my life.

But, this is why I love doing it. And this is why I will continue to do it.

I mentioned once in a blog post (I think it was Randy's Redemption, but I may be wrong) that I write a--- slash pen my posts with a fine=tipped ballpoint pen first. Then, it is typed out. But with the emergence of technology, old sir Fucking Randy got with the times, disposed of his amish pen and hit the keyboard with the utmost strength. While I still enjoy the feeling of a compoisite pen in my fingers, I must admit typing on a computer makes this jmmensely pcker . Fuick. Quicker! Shit!

Now I'm getting so selc convious about typing. That was... a horrlbly typed sentence. OMG I need the key. Give me the fucking delete Key!

No... I can't use it. Fuck!

You know what I"m realizing? I thought the delete key woiuld purely impede my spelling abilities, but in fact it's affecting the way I phrase sentences. I am now realizing that I type a sentence, and then will go back and re-read it, possibly many times over, and make corections to better phrase what I am trying to say. Now without the use of the delete key, my words an dmy phrases, not to mention grammar, are getting fucked up. It's like I'm an F.O.B.

"Low BLOW Sir Fucking Randy!" screeched Sitch, full-on Asian.

Oh, great Odin's Raven me. Look at my friggin block post. THis is horrendous. I can't beleive I'm going to post this in the coming minutes. Bah!

It's like I'm writing one my Toy Story songs for Disney. I never make drafts for those kinds of songs: I just write it and go with the flow. Just like when I wrote Short People.

"Short People, short peoiple, short people got no reason to live!" -- you guys ever hear my song? You should listen; it's amazing.

"You got a friend in me. You got a friend in me. When Wi the road loks rough up ahead, and you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed. You just remember what your old pal said, boy you gor friend in me!" -- this was the best song I've ever written.

Actually, hold on. Maybe not.

The best song I co=wrote was "When she Loved Me" -- with Sarah Maclaclkan (HOLY FUCK I can't believe I fucked her name up so bad.)

AH, I can't take it anymore. I live for perfection; I live to please: I love to keep this blog neat and tidy. But this blgo post is just getting horrendous. My typing speed cannot keep up with my puotoine cyber-charged brain that wants to list out 1,000 things at once. I need my receptionists to help me out! Georgette! Get the fuck over here! Denise! Amber! All you gals, help me fix this tsupid blog post. I should have never commited to such a n experiment!

No!!!!!!!!!!!!

They're telling me to stick with it. They think i'ts funny. If it wasn't for their jeweled eyes and grapefruit (FUCKING LOVE GRAPEFRUIT) breasts I'd tell them to fuck off. But, they are telling me this is good for my creativeity since I recently complained to Safari trhat I'm running out of blog ideas. They think this will help me . I hate to admit it, bu tit's working.

HAHA I just wrote tits!

Tit's working , bitches!

I'm sweating. I'm so out of my zone right now. I want to go back and remove all the fucking mistakes I've made (Now I know what Jared Cown feels like). God damn it. "I Now I know what JARED Cowen feels." No. One more time. "NOw I know how Jared Cown feels." FUck, close nough.

This must be what Burguny s teleprompter must look like.

"It doesn't look this good, Bu  shit I mean Commissioner," said Burgundy. "My teleprompter looks like "???" all the time. It's annoying!"

I strong,ly, Strongly suggest and recommend that people (all you select-GM's) do this exercise once. You'll find it so comical. Just take a MS word document, and start typing whateverht efuck you want. You know what, better yet use a word pad. MS Wod document will have autoscorrect (thank you very mu9ch Bill gate) so you might get saved. But if you use a word pad then it takes eall text at face value. See how good you are at typing without the delete key, bitches. You think this is hilarioius right/ Try it out foryouself!

I'm out of this for now. I can't take it anymore. I want to deit DAMN IT. I meant "EDIT". But I can't for fuci's sake. 

No more of this!