WK9 - Bone Time

"Hey Safari, maybe this is a bad time to say 'hi'." - Tree Bone

As we head into the holiday season, things could not be any more tense for the select-GM's in the Wring. Safari, who has now held the throne for five consecutive weeks, is keeping his head above water, though someone's been making ground. She's been under the radar, but it looks as though she's finally had enough and decided to show who's tits are boss.

"Maybe this is a bad time to say 'hi'," grinned Tree Bone.

Tree "Chilled-to-the" Bone is plowing her way to the front, and is now sitting second behind Safari with, and I'm not exaggerating this here, 36 GAMES IN HAND! How the hell is she doing this? Here are the visuals, courtesy of the stats machine:

Adds McGuire: Competition is still tight (extra Tuco). It's a product of good drafting. It's a product of good bench management. It's a product of hard work. It's a product of League-wide parity.

Insightful, Pierre.

Adds McGuire: Everything is looking pretty good, except for Burgs and Sitch. With three title belts combined between the two of them, you'd think that they would have better results nine weeks into competition. But the exact opposite is true; Sitch, after showing promise about a month into competition, is now floundering; his results are even lower than his IQ. Though he has excellent pieces on his roster, some of his big guns (i.e. Stamkos) have stalled, and he can't get goalie wins. Similarly, Burgs is having trouble all around the board; Crosbone and Co. can't generate above-average player stats, and his goalies win less than 50% of the time.

Adds McGuire: This is where Tree Bone shines. I mean, really, really shines! She's got a double D-cup PPGP stat of 3.53, tops in the League, and well above the average of 3.32. She's been patient with her roster, and has so many games in hand that she can use later in the season. Dubnyk (MIN) is showing that last year's season was no fluke, and Holtby (WAS) is playing strong as well. And, who could ignore the monstrous ongoing performance of Patrick Kane?! He's gone 22 games with at least an NHL point; during week 9 he amassed 2G and 3A, good for 15.55 fantasy points. Not anything crazy in terms of weekly performance, but he's been able to produce this way for more than six weeks now. All other select-GM's are jelly.

Adds McGuire: Look at those colours. Other than having a lower than normal shot percentage, Tree Bone is doing well in most other categories, and is passing with flying colours in the goalie category. Safari, the overall leader, is hurting in the goalie stats, but that hasn't stopped him from achieving greatness as his players are compensating for the inconsistent goaltending. Dick Burns, the leader in the early going of the Wring, is still well in the hunt. Sitch and Burgs, all I can say is:

Thanks, Pierre. Cheers to you all, select-GM's. May this holiday season bring the best out of you, your teams, and your bedtime pleasures. Until next time, gentlemen and lady,

- the Fucking Randy