Greetings, Friends.

Eternal happiness is just a dollar away...

My dear select-GMs,

Welcome to Randy's Wring 2015-2016, the fourth season of the Randy Leagues. It is an honour and privilege to once again bring you the finest there is to offer in fantasy hockey. And, may I remind every select-GM that it is also an honour and privilege that you be invited and included in such a League; don't ever take this for granted.

Now, first things first: why 'Wring'? Well, Mr. Fucking Randy (i.e. Morpheus Randy, Commissioner Randy) pondered what name would satisfy the fourth installment of the Randy Leagues; a bunch of titles were drawn up, including Toy Story 4 (but that was already copyrighted by Disney, those fuckers). I decided on calling it Wring for the following reasons:

1. It includes a 'W'. This place is for winners, bitches.
2. It includes the word 'ring'. Cheesy or not cheesy, this League, full of select-GM, is a circle of friends. While winning is important, I honestly believe that the circle, or ring I should say, is a strong bond. It's a fucking miracle, really. This place is for friends, bitches.
3. 'Wring' also means to squeeze and twist something in an effort to get liquid from it. Enough said, bitches.

She gets it.

"OMG!" shouted an aroused Burgundy, drooling over the GIF above. "I... I'll be right back."

Make sure to grab a couple paper towels, Burgundy. Clean up after yo'self.

This year has started off with a few glitches and hiccups, which has pissed Commissioner Randy off to no end. I expect - no, I DEMAND - perfection and it has not gone the way I had planned. The blog site has experienced some technical difficulties and my secretaries haven't been able to create a suitable platform for me to compose the scandalous reports I write. The blog is still under construction as you can see, and I'm hoping to have this resolved soon. Nonetheless, reporting had to commence and for the time being this is what I have to work with. Please be patient as this webpage is updated.

The Draft also faced some serious glitches. But more on that another time...

With that being said, enjoy the year, my dear select-GMs. Revel in the pre-season hype; you're all tied for first (yay!). Soon your souls and dreams will be crushed ---

"You mean CRUNCHED?!" asked Sitch.

Perhaps, but I'm going with crushed for now. Only the strong and intelligent (sorry Sitch) will survive. As I said before, this place is for the 'W' - the fucking winners. Be smart, select-GMs, for this season will end before you know it.

Cordially,

Morpheus Randy

Remember: this place is for winners.