WK5 - Run Away, and Never Return.

Somebody in Dubai woke up with a little extra jump in his prowl this morning.

"Damn straight," said Safari.

We're now into the month of November, where most hockey analysts alike agree that this month determines the fate for most teams for the rest of the season. If you're not in it (i.e. a playoff spot) by November, you're going to have a pretty tough time getting in afterward. So, does the same fate translate inside the Randy Leagues?

"Damn straight, said Safari, again. "Give up now, gentlemen and lady. It's over. You are not worthy. Run away, and never return!"

Run. Run away, and never return.

I respectfully disagree, Safari, but I love the attitude you put forth. With Dick Burns dominating the first month of competition, it's refreshing to see that we have a new leader, Safari, atop the rankings. Now, the lead is micro-thin (extra Sitch penis) but a lead is a lead, am I right?

"Damn st---"

"Straight, we heard you," said a disgruntled Burgundy, cutting off Safari mid-sentence.

Oh come now, Mr. Ronald Burgas. You had your time in the light (he was crowned Tri-Hard! Champion, after all); can't you let Safari have some glory for taking over the lead in the Wring?

"Absolutely not," said Burgundy. "I'll be more cheerful and supportive once my Crosbone erects to the moon with extra NASA juice. Otherwise, I'm just pissed beyond belief. Come on Crosbone, come on!"

Well, before we get too emotional here, let's take a look at the stats report, courtesy of the stats machine:

As stated previously, Safari has taken over the lead, albeit by a mere single fantasy point over Dick Burns. As you can see, the chart has been revamped; I've decided to add a third stat to include the cumulative total points (the green square) so you clowns can see precisely how far away you are from sniffing Safari's ass.

"Damn straight," said Safari, again.

Alright, Safari, alright. The top bread earner of this week was Sitch, bringing home 151.30 fantasy points, about 40 points more than the League average for this week.

"Time to crunch it up!" said Sitch, inserting a Enrique compact disc.

As we can see with the rank chart, Dick's streak at no. 1 is over. While it is a shame, his demotion was caused by a single fantasy point, so it's highly possible he could see another return to the top.

"I do enjoy it on top," said Dick Burns. "It's always nice working HARD when you're on TOP. Speaking of which, I see Tree Bone's been bouncing up and down near the bottom. How does that feel, Tree Bone?"

"I'm always a fan of the bounce," said Tree Bone.

League-wide PPGP remained constant this week, but we're starting to see parity.

"Fuck no!" said Dick Burns.

Fuck yes, Dick Burns. Though Dick Burns still leads overall PPGP, he's fallen from the heavens and has returned to (Shakespeare by the) sea level productivity.  His once monstrous PPGP of 4.31 has returned from the statosphere and is now a more realistic 3.59, still tops in the League, but much closer to the 3.30 League average.

Sitch, who was this week's top bread earner, saw the biggest increase in his PPGP, jumping 0.16 to 3.27; he still ranks fourth in terms of PPGP, but we all know how much he loves to come from behind.

"Girls like that," said Sitch.

Speaking of behind, Burgundy had a tough week; his PPGP fell 0.17 and is now 2.91, falling below 3.00 levels for the first time this year. He's really thrown a wrench at the Combine Results, where he was projected to finish near or at the top. Where has he gone wrong?

Adds McGuire: I can answer that! For Burgs it's been a combination of things; we're always focused on the Crosbone because of its beauty and finesse, but there are several other factors. Yes, Crosby hasn't produced at his normal rate (he only had 3.75 fantasy points this week, along with a -7 +/- rating), but it's more than that. Parise, who was giving Burgs a hell of a ride earlier, is now out with a knee injury. Goaltending is also an issue; he hasn't been able to get dependable wins. And finally, other than Turris, no forward recorded more than 10 fantasy points this week for Burgundy. You're not going to move up in the rankings if your players can't give you double digits!

And finally the Rainbow. It's no surprise that Burgundy's racking up the red in the players statistics. What does this tell Commissioner Randy (stats expert) you may ask? My take is that he will explode with goals this week. An 8.15% shooting percentage is ridiculously low given the talent on his roster. Me thinks the goals are coming, Burgundy. Me thinks.

"Don't even try," said Safari, undressing from a pair of shiny-silver track pants. "The days of being the silver fox are over. No more sloppy seconds for this Lion. I'm on top, and I intend on staying there. Change is afoot (or a-paw). Get ready for the reign of the Lion!"

"Easy there, Simba. The King hasn't returned just yet."

Wise words, Dick.